Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
