they need to just BURY HIM!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
