ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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