pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
