Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize