Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
A bitchslap is in order.
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