Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
