i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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