he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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