Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
