OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
