So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
