Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
