Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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