the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
