Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
