I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
