i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
