Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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