that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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