I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
