i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
