you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
