i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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