I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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