I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
