Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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