apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
