they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize