Yo dont text me then not text me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
