Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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