Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
