just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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