She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
