hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize