i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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