just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
