I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My vagina is very pro this idea
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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