you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You did what with his pubic hair?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
