i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
