YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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