I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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