i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
