quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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