.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
