a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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