im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
