don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
