Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
