I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
