Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she told me i tasted like america
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
