Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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