What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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