**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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