i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize