His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So squirting runs in the family.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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