Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
