I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
