how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
