The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
