I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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